Part of me wants to go back to work ASAP but the other part of me still wants to lounge at the comforts of my home and look after my 2 month old. I have 5 weeks more of my maternity leave and I am not sure if I have rested well. To be honest, any amount of off-days is never enough.
I almost teared when I received a message from my Principal, confirming my comeback. I may have been a very experienced teacher but with a 16 week hiatus, the first day of back at work can be nerve wrecking. It can send shivers down my nervous system.
Giving birth in December, for a teacher like me, has pros and cons. What’s good about it is that I can have a super long year end holiday. From mid November, all the way to April. The downside of it? I don’t know the children that I will be teaching. I don’t even know how they look like. Do they know me? For the past 3 years, I have been getting the older age group aka Kindergarten 2 (K2). They are 6 year olds and most of them are better in taking instructions and their understanding of the environment. I have lost my touch with the younger groups, seriously.
I called a colleague earlier in January, to ask of the situation in school and also the level that was mine. When she said Kindergarten 1 (K1), I got worried. It never leave my mind ever since. No, I have never dislike the younger group. I just have lost my touch in nurturing them. Anxiety is creeping into my bloodstream. Will they like me? Will they be judgmental? Will they regard the substitute teacher as their form teacher and not me?
No! I gotta pull up my socks and just do it. I am gonna welcome them with my warm heart and open arms. And I hope they will, too.